Wednesday, September 10, 2008

Portokin

So I made up a sex act a little while back. Its called a portakin. See, you get a girl (probably have to be a prostitute for this one) and you take her into a porta potty and then she gives you a blow job while you take a dump. Pretty nasty, huh? Don't worry, I made it up, but I haven't tried it. I don't really think it would be all that enjoyable of a sex act. I mean, porta potties tend to be really hot and smell really bad too and I don't know about you, but I dont really like to have orgasms in really hot places that smell like poop.
So its probably pretty obvious, but incase you didn't grow up listening to Howard Stern, here's how I came up with this little number:

Porta Potty
+
Blumpkin
(aka BJ while you take a shit on the toilet)
=
Portakin!


Who's the dude who actually wants a blumpkin anyway? I mean yeah, taking a dump is satisfying and getting a good blowie is fun for the whole family, but I mean come on? I mean, I love Jack Daniel's and I love smooth and creamy peanut butter, but you don't see me in bars ordering whiskey creamies do you? No, you don't cause that would be fucking nasty. Right?
Oh, oh, oh!!! I also made up something else today and here it is:

WWJZD?

Thats right kids, what would Jay-Z do? Its the question you should ask yourself when ever you're faced with a tough decision or any fucking decision for that matter:

"Should I buy a pack of gum? hhhmmm....WWJZD?"

.......

"Shit yeah I'm gonna buy that gum, son! Fuck it, buy two packs. Fuck it, buy the whole fuckin lot. FUCK IT, I'm gonna buy Wrigley's and make my own fuckin gum, bitch!"
You see, what ever Jay-Z would do would be the most awesome thing that could be done, so really, what other choice is there. I'm making up some "WWJZD?" t-shirts and shit tomorrow, so if you want one, just send a twenty dollar bill to:

WWJZD? care of Tyler Brown
275A States st.
San Francisco, CA 94114

Please allow 3-6 weeks for delivery, motha fuckas!!

1 comment:

corey said...

"what i always say is that hip hop is not just a mirror of what is, it should also be a reflection of what can be" http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pFSVG7jRp_g