Sunday, September 14, 2008

Shot Vs. Stabbed

I think I would rather get shot than stabbed. Don't get me wrong, getting shot has got to really suck, but there is something about the thought of getting stabbed that really freaks me out. And it also takes a lot more commitment on the part of the stabber. I mean, any punk-ass bitch can pull a trigger, but to stab somebody, you really gotta go for it. And then, if you really like your knife, you gotta pull it back out. I bet when those guys in prison stab each other with a shiv they just leave it in the dude since they can just fashion another one out of like a bar of soap or some shit. I like the phrase "to shank someone with a shiv." "Shank" can be either a noun or a verb, while "shiv" is only an object. Aww, poor shiv.
There was this one time when I was in my buddy Brendan Bloom's old VW bus and we stopped for gas and as I was getting out, I cut my finger on a piece of broken glass and I stuck my finger in my mouth to stop the bleeding. I remember taking it out to look at the cut and next thing I know I'm lying on my back with Bloom-dog over me about to give me CPR or some shit. Apparently I dropped like a ton of bricks from a standing position and hit my head on the pavement. Bloomers said I was all fishing out on the ground and he thought I was dying. Brendan's a real "can-do" kinda guy (and we love him for it), so I'm pretty sure I was about 5 seconds away from my first man-on-man kiss, which woulda sucked cause I wasn't dying, I just cant take seeing my own blood sometimes. I just pass the fuck out. Its happened on several other occasions, most notably:
At the doctor's office while getting one of those finger prick blood tests, and one time in my kitchen from a half inch paper cut on my finger. I would make a horrible cutter.
Maybe that's why I fear a good stabbing, because of the bleeding. I'm pretty sure you bleed pretty bad when you get shot too, though. I also think "I'm gonna stab you" is just such a great threat if you really want to make people think your crazy.
Speaking of which, in the "Beat It" video when those two dudes are having that tied together knife-fight-dance-thingy, why don't they just go for the other guys arm that's already tied to them? Do you think they discussed the rules before hand and agreed that was illegal? That would be my move, go for the arm your already attached too because lets face it, when your a knife-fight-dancer, the first one to bleed looses. I would probably pass out either way, though.

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