Wednesday, January 7, 2009

An Ode to Pills

Oh pills, how can I truly express my love for you and all the beautiful things you do for me?

I Heart Pills

You fix my head when I'm hungover,
You always come through, over and over.
You suppress my cough when I'm congested.
I love you most when you're ingested.
You perk me up when I am sleepy,
And put me down when I can't... sleepy.
Although I've never had "the clap,"
I've heard you cure it quick and tidy.
Girls can take you to stop their babies.
I wonder if you can prevent rabies?
Sometimes I take you just for fun,
or crush you up and snort you down.
You can help my wiener when its flaccid,
You'd mellow me out when on bad acid.
You take my pain, make me feel all fuzzy.
Sometimes with booze you make me buzzy.
You pick me up when I am blue,
Make me feel better when I get the flu.
When you're filled with MDMA,
You make me feel all silly and gay. (like happy, not homosexual)
Advil is sweet, Vicodin is radder,
Cranberry juice's great for your bladder.
If I had IBS you'd sooth my colon.
I wonder if the Dude eats you before bowlin?
And if I ever get high blood pressure,
An ACE inhibitor of you will be for good measure.
Some pills calm and some pills coat,
Some even help out with water weight and bloat.
When my heart burns, you put out the fire,
Pills, I love you so much and I'm not a lier.

I love you, pills!!!

1 comment:

Lisa said...

I’ve tried all sorts of coughing syrups, believe me, but none of them helps. Even though Nin Jiom Pei Pa Koa does not eliminates the cough I like to stick to this chinese syrup I’ve been taking since I was a kid: Nin Jiom Pei Pa Koa. My grandfather is chinese, so I guess my mom got the advice from him. I was really surprised when I found that chinese market selling it here in Belgium. It does have a refreshing, soothing, sweetening effect…as long as it lasts…then back to coughing mode.