Wednesday, October 21, 2009

Mail-order Russian Brides and Robot Cowboys

So yesterday I was on facebook and I found this sweet ass mail-order Russian bride web site, and I started thinking, man, one of these would be sweet to order. Yeah, there are some things that could go wrong, but there are also so many things that could go soooo right. Its a little thing called true love, guy, ever heard of it?

I was also thinking about robot cowboys yesterday and how robot cowboys ride robot horses and shoot laser guns instead of six
shooters and how they ride off into digital sunsets, but how, contrary to popular belief, they don't fight robot indians, but in fact they actually fight giant spiders, which, if you think about it, really makes a lot of sense. I mean who else is gonna fight those giant spiders? Definitely not the robot indians cause they are too busy getting loaded on digital firewater and surely not the robot sheriff cause as everybody knows, robot sheriffs don't really exist.

So then I started thinking, man, it would be super extra sweet if they made robot Russian brides that were rechargeable and had interchangeable heads and boobs and butts and stuff. They would have to make the interchangeable parts attach really well cause it would suck if the head or something came off
while you were doing it with your robot Russian bride. I would keep my robot russian bride plugged into the recharger while I was doing her at home, you know, like a cell phone cause what if I wanted to go out and get something to eat after I was done doing it? You'd want her all charged up for public. I would also keep the switch on my robot Russian bride set to "Praise you" at all times. Also, I would keep the switch thats just bellow that always set to "Horny." I think a Russian robot bride with interchangeable parts that was set to "Praise you" and "Horny" would keep me pretty happy and satisfied for prolly a real long while.
Dear Scientists,
Hey buddies. Hows the science coming? So do you think you guy could make some Russian robot mail-order bride prototypes? I think that if you made them with interchangeable body parts and some switches that go from "Pay attention to me" to "Praise you" and another one that goes from "Mildly horny" to "Horny" and then maybe just a power switch bellow that, you could probably sell a lot of units. Now I'm not a scientist like you (although I did major in Economics, which is a social science) but I think I have a pretty good idea here. Also, if you need somebody to test drive your prototypes, I'm your man!

Sincerely,
T-Bone "Giggitty" McGillicutty