Monday, August 18, 2008

Does my house smell?

Remember when you were little and you would go over to some other kid's house and it would smell like apple juice or cooked green beans or wet animal crackers, but no body was drinking apple juice or cooking green beans or wetting animal crackers?  What was up with that shit?  And after being there for a few hours you wouldn't really smell it any more, but the next time you went over there, sure enough, wet animal crackers.  

Did you ever ask any of your friends why their house smelled like pee soup and robotussin?  

Or even worse, did you ever have the fear that your house smelled like something real nasty like old milk and cabbage, but nobody had ever told you but maybe that's why no one, except that kid who just moved here from Poland, showed up for your sleep over party last Friday, even though you told every one that your mom was gonna make those really awesome English muffin pizza things?  Yeah, me neither. 

When I go over to other people's houses now, they really don't smell that distinct.  Have I become hard of smelling?  Or is it something else?  

Pretty much all of the people's houses that I go to don't have kids yet, so could it be the kids who are smelly?  And if it is the kids, how long does it take for the smell to really take hold of the house.  Can you alter the smell that a child emanates?  How large a roll does diet play?  God, I would be so pissed if I came home from work one day and realized that not only would the little bundle of joy I created cost me well over a hundred grand in college tuition, but would also make my home reek like the inside of a three week old jack-o-lantern for the next eighteen years.  I think I'm gonna wait a little while before I delve into fatherhood.