Wednesday, February 4, 2009

Bob Hall: Canadian?

So a couple days ago, my buddy, Bob Hall over there at The Daily Duffy, wrote something that I found pretty alarming.  It seems that Mr. Hall may be under the influence of the Canadians, if not actually a Canadian himself!  As you know, Mr. Hall, my best friend/nemesis, claims to be a super-spy, something I have always looked up to him for, ever since I have wanted to be a spy after having a dream in which I was a really awesome spy.  But fuck, if he's Canadian, that really changes things.  I recently wrote this letter of concern to Bob:

Hey guy, 
Are you sure this is not a small town review of Ottawa Ontario? Cause your "ideas" sound a lot like those held by the Canadian agenda. Wait, wait, wait, are you a fucking canuck? That would really explain a lot, like why you like to wear jordash jeans and call everybody "hoser" and just generally do shit that was cool here in america like 20 years ago like some sort of mildly retarded little brother to the US who mom makes us play Monopoly with but then you choke on a hotel and step right on the middle of the board and then spill my rootbeer all over the bank! Why can't you get your own friends!?
Maybe you're some sort of Canadian Spy? But why would Canada need spies since they don't have any bombs or army or anything since they still rely on the queen and Great Britain for all that shit? Bob Hall, you have really sent my mind on a wild roller coaster ride with this one, and I really just wanna get off before I puke, or get hit in the head by a goose like Fabio did.
I mean if Bob Hall is in fact a US super spy who is under the influence of the Canadians, then we have a big problem on our hands.  Sure, I hate the sun just as much as the next red blooded American (I mean, you ever got a real bad sunburn?  That shit sucks!) but blowing it up, even partially?  Thats Canadian talk if you ask me.
So I just found this picture on the intrawebs of a pigeon that is a spy.  Maybe we could replace the potential Canadian spies like Bob Hall with pigeons like this guy?Looks like squirrels are pretty good spies too, and I don't know about you, but I just kinda trust squirrels more than pigeons.  I mean, they are warm blooded mammals and they are really fast and cute and really good with nuts so maybe they are better potential-canadian-spy replacements after all.